Moving a loved one to memory care can be a big change. Even if you know it’s for the best, it can also be emotional. However, your role as a family member is not over. There is a lot you can still do to support the individual and enrich their life. That starts with regular visits.
About one in four community-dwelling Americans aged 65 and older reports feeling lonely. Maintaining connections can also be vital for their well-being. However, there is a lot to consider when it comes to visiting a loved one in memory care.
This post will explain ways you can prepare and what you can bring to ensure successful visits.
How to Prepare When Visiting a Loved One in Memory Care
Preparation sets the stage for positive experiences. Knowing why visits matter and how to plan them gives you a stronger sense of direction and calm. With a clear plan, both you and your loved one can feel more at ease.
Why Visiting a Loved One in Memory Care Matters
Visits provide much more than comfort. They strengthen emotional bonds, reduce stress, and support cognitive health. When you show up consistently, you create stability and reassurance. Families who plan visits around routines often find that interactions feel calmer and more productive.
What to Bring When Visiting a Loved One in Memory Care
Choosing the right items can set the tone for a positive visit. You want to bring things that comfort, entertain, or make daily life easier. The goal is to spark recognition, reduce anxiety, and help your loved one enjoy the time together.
- Comforting Items: Familiar objects provide comfort and reassurance. A photo album with names and dates written clearly can help your parent recall family members. Research shows that reminiscence using photos improves both mood and quality of life. You can also bring a soft blanket, a favorite pillow, or hand cream with a familiar scent. These small touches make the room feel like home.
- Stimulating Activities: Bring activities that encourage calm engagement. Simple puzzles, word searches, or coloring books allow your loved one to participate without frustration. Music is also a powerful tool. Familiar songs from their youth can lift spirits and sometimes prompt memory recall. A Cochrane review found that music can ease depressive symptoms for people with dementia, although effects on agitation are less clear.
- Practical Comforts: Practical items make visits easier and more enjoyable. Comfortable clothing with soft fabrics and easy fasteners helps maintain independence. Small, non-messy snacks may be welcome if approved by staff. Seasonal items, such as warm socks in winter or a sunhat in summer, can keep your parent safe and comfortable.
- Items to Avoid: Not everything belongs in a memory care visit. Avoid bringing valuables, fragile objects, or complicated devices that could cause frustration. Skip any food that is not cleared by staff, as many residents have strict dietary needs for safety and health.
What to Say During a Visit
What you say is just as important as what you bring. Communication in memory care should create reassurance, not pressure. The way you phrase questions, comments, and greetings can make visits more successful and less stressful for everyone.
- Use Simple Language: You should learn how to talk to someone with dementia. Short, clear sentences reduce confusion. Use a calm tone and give plenty of time for your loved one to respond. Avoid correcting or arguing. Instead, focus on their feelings and use validation therapy techniques. This approach emphasizes understanding rather than accuracy.
- Conversation Starters: Choose conversation topics that are concrete and pleasant. Point to a photo in an album and share a memory connected to it. Play a song and ask, “Do you like this music?” Simple questions with easy answers create a smoother conversation.
- What Not to Say: Avoid questions that test memory, such as “Do you remember my name?” Do not bring up stressful subjects like medical bills or health diagnoses. Avoid talking down or using “baby talk,” as it can come across as patronizing.
Other Things to Consider
- Plan Your Visit: A little planning makes visits smoother. Think about the time of day, the length of the visit, and how it fits into your loved one’s schedule. A structured plan reduces anxiety and helps everyone feel more relaxed.
- Involve Family: Children and other relatives often want to help but may not know how. Preparing them before the visit ensures that they understand what to expect. Clear guidance helps children interact in ways that feel comfortable and respectful.
- Stay Connected: Visits may not always be possible, but you can still maintain a bond. Small, frequent gestures between visits keep your parent connected to family. Technology, cards, and family events all provide touchpoints that maintain meaningful contact.
FAQs
How long should a typical visit last?
Many families find that 20 to 45 minutes works well. Consistent, shorter visits usually feel less overwhelming than long visits. Earlier times in the day often feel calmer.
What if my parent does not recognize me?
Introduce yourself clearly with your name and relationship. Then focus on feelings and shared activities. Validation therapy reduces stress and confusion.
What should I do if my parent becomes upset?
Acknowledge their feelings and gently redirect attention. Play familiar music or show a photo album. Both activities are known to ease distress.
Can I bring snacks or favorite foods?
Ask staff first. Many residents have dietary restrictions to keep them safe.
Are pets allowed during visits?
Policies vary by community. Some memory care programs allow supervised animal visits, which research suggests can ease agitation and improve mood.
Plan a Supportive Visit
Every visit you make has the power to bring comfort and connection. With thoughtful planning, you can create moments that feel calm and meaningful for your loved one.
If you are considering memory care for your parent, our team at Bethel Gardens can show you how we support families during visits and daily life. Contact us today to learn more about our community, meet our care team, and see how we create welcoming spaces.
